I don’t know how many readers my semi-regular, topically inconsistent movie reviews get. Yet, I’m sure not one person has read it and thought, “Yes, I want this girl to rank the Marvel movies. And also for some reason connect it to Judaism.” Yet, here we are. Prepare yourself for the life-changing, all-encompassing (jk I’ve seen at most 10 Marvel movies), completely arbitrary ranking of Marvel movies by yours truly.
Alright, here’s a Marvel movie ranking from the last person you want to hear it from. Like really. We should start with my least favorite right?
10. Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2 is definitely a movie that I saw.
I actually saw this movie twice because I fell asleep the first time, so not a great harbinger for its placement on this ranking. Sequels are always hard to master and Iron Man 2 is no exception. While the first Iron Man introduces a world of new characters and technology, as well as serving as one of the first introductory Marvel movies, Iron Man 2 felt more like an assignment that needed to get done.
There is no saving grace for Iron Man 2 in terms of Jewish representation — the most I could find is that Scarlett Johansson was properly once casted to play a Jew once, who even knows.
9. Thor
As someone who only recently got into Marvel because I have one of those friends that loves loves loves it — and she decided to take me under her wing and get me to watch them with her, but also my friend and I do not have much time since we are both full time college students — this movie was not what I expected from a “superhero” movie (that’s what I call them because I’m new to this, okay?!)
This was one of the first ones I saw and it was a completely different genre from the one I saw before (being Iron Man). That was cool! That being said, Thor did get a little slow at points, and I’m reserving judgment on how I feel about Tom Hiddelston until Reputation (Taylor’s Version) comes out.
8. Guardians of the Galaxy
I have to apologize to Guardians of the Galaxy. Even I know that this spot on the ranking isn’t fair. I saw it so long ago. And my friend who explains Marvel movies to me wasn’t there. I barely even remember what happened. I’m assuming they guarded the galaxy?
A tree person named Groot was there, and while it was filming Chris Pratt lost a lot of weight and confused viewers on Parks & Recreation. By the way, that is a fantastic show, but I am told that I cannot include it on the ranking.
7. Iron Man
The first Iron Man! This was an exciting experience to watch. I wasn’t tired of Tony Stark’s pick me attitude yet, the whole will they won’t be of him and Pepper Pots still felt new and exciting, and Tony didn’t have a million suits. It was just a very wonderful viewing experience.
Also, it just came to my attention that Gwyneth Paltrow’s father was Jewish and Steven Spielberg is her godfather. She is cousins with Rebekah Paltrow Neumann, who is married to the Israeli-American millionaire and invented WeWork. And her brother had a Bar Mitzvah!? Well, if you’d look at that.
6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
I really like Captain America, and not just because he’s my friend’s favorite! He’s young, he’s funny, he doesn’t have an attitude about this all-powerful thing. Oh wait, I’m describing Captain America in the first movie. This movie is still good because it’s Captain America and not another Thor movie, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s been frozen for 70 years.
5. The Avengers
This is what I pictured when I pictured an Avengers movie and it did not disappoint! Boy was I surprised when I realized the Avengers were just as disorganized as any other corporation! Also boy was there stupid arguments and fighting going back and forth and everywhere. I don’t know why I assumed all of the Avengers would be besties for life, but this was much better. I am here for the drama!
4. Captain America: The First Avenger
I don’t know why he gets an extra long, special name…
Inexplicably, Captain America: The First Avenger gets a stupidly long name and none of the other intro movies do, but hey, I don’t work for Marvel! This movie was great. Steve Rogers is funny, relatable, and well-introduced to a point that you desperately want to root for him through every moment.
I loved the parts where capitalism and patriotism inexplicably had to corrupt the superhero they invented instead of letting him do his job! That was quite realistic. This movie was well-paced, had great tonnage throughout, and was a highly enjoyable movie.
3. Black Panther
Black Panther is another movie that I first saw before I decided to tackle every single Marvel movie, but despite that, it stands incredibly on its own. The characters are all compelling and there is great attention to detail in bringing nuanced characteristics to the screen. The attention to detail from everything to Boseman’s insistence that the Wakandan’s have African ascents to the costumes and action sequences makes this movie shine.
Rest in power, Chadwick.
2. Ant-Man
Paul Rudd supremacy.
I’m biased. I love Paul Rudd. He also scares me because why does he not age!? I’m telling you that man looks the exact same in Friends, Ant-Man, and The Friends Reunion. It does not make a bit of sense! I want to know who he sold his soul to, I really do.
Anyway, he gets booted up because, aside from having the best skin care routine of any person ever, Paul Rudd is Jewish and proud! And I, for one, am proud to have him.
Special Mention: The Amazing Spider Man
And apparently this one doesn’t count, according to Wikipedia, but screw that: The Amazing Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield is my love).
I almost didn’t include this at all, but I had to — at least separate from my ranking. The Amazing Spider-Man is, dare I say, amazing! It has all of the excitement of a “superhero” movie with the earnestness and youthfulness of a teen flick.
As you should all know from my Tick, Tick, Boom! review, I love Andrew Garfield! And of course, he is Jewish and less it is acceptable to my mother for me to marry him, now someone just needs to tell Andrew…
This is not to say I am opposed to other Spider-Man movies. If you want my thoughts on Tom Holland’s Spider Man, tell Disney+ to get their act together so I can stream it!
1. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
I saw this movie this week, and was inspired to write this blog just out of pure enjoyment for this movie. It was long, for sure, but I was on the edge of my seat for the whole entire movie. This is my first and only Marvel movie that I managed to see in theaters and I am really delighted that I did.
The loss of Boseman was prominent and acknowledged, but did not take away from the quality of the movie in the slightest. Shuri (Letitia Wright) is a delight to watch and compelling in terms of both character and performance. Every action she makes is understandable, relatable, and earnest. I also loved the introduction of Riri Williams (Ironheart) (Dominique Thorne) as a perfect foil to Shuri who sometimes needs to be serious since she just became SPOILER queen of Wakanda and the Black Panther.
I am so excited to see more of Ironheart! While some other Marvel movies feel reminiscent of different historical contexts that I do not always feel as interested and connected to, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is a movie for the modern age.